Thriving in Midlife, Part 3: Defining Your "Repurposement" Goals

Why does middlescence (aka "midlife" or "the midlife crisis") get such a bad rap?

We laugh at the Griswolds, where Clark’s desperate attempt to become the perfect family man leads him to flirt with disaster (and a Ferrari). Clark is the quintessential example of a midlife crisis: he's constantly striving for the ideal family vacation, complete with over-the-top plans that inevitably result in hilarious and chaotic outcomes. From accidentally driving the family car off the road to getting lost in a desert, Clark's well-intentioned efforts to create lasting memories often backfire spectacularly. His attempts to recapture his youth, like when he impulsively buys a flashy red convertible, only add to the family's misadventures.

Ellen, on the other hand, struggles to recapture her own youth while keeping their family intact. Her efforts to maintain a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos often lead to their own comedic moments, like when she tries to stay calm during Clark's increasingly outrageous schemes or when she ends up stranded on a rooftop in her bathrobe. Ellen's balancing act between supporting Clark's wild ideas and managing the day-to-day challenges of their family life is both relatable and amusing.

These comedic scenes reflect our own fears and frustrations as we navigate the messiness of midlife. Our children grow up and fly the nest, our parents age, and the world’s pace leaves us feeling left behind. We start questioning: Is this all there is? Is our life meaningful? Will our legacy endure?

While this might seem depressing, I believe there is another way. Unlike every stage of life, from infanthood to parenting that come with support systems like parents, teachers, and mentors, middlescence and retirement are often overlooked and reduced to nothing more than a solid savings and financial planning. However, a fulfilling life needs more than a financial plan; it needs a plan and that’s where Repurposement Goals come into play.

So, let's get started and write this new chapter of your life. Let's take the story of your life and spend some time shaping it into a story with great meaning and lasting impact. This is a time for new beginnings, personal growth, stronger family bonds, exciting adventures, and lifelong learning. Let's take some time to reflect on your life, capture its wisdom, and set Repurposement Goals that will contribute to the highest good of all you love and lead.

What are Repurposement Goals?
Repurposement goals are rooted in the power of peace, expressed confidently through self-awareness, and aimed at the highest good. They are intentional objectives for transitioning from middlescence into retirement, guiding us to a fulfilling life beyond traditional work roles. Today, we will focus on these Repurposement Goals within GiANT's 5 key Pillars of the Peace Index: People, Place, Personal Health, Provision, and Purpose.

PEOPLE PILLAR (Relationships and Community)

Kyle, a dedicated entrepreneur, excels at meeting his clients' needs through active listening, establishing himself as a trusted partner. However, his wife, Cassie, feels neglected at home. After stressful workdays, Kyle tends to withdraw, responding impatiently and trying to "fix" rather than listen. Unlike his clients, he doesn't offer his family the same attention and care, creating an inconsistency that Cassie finds hurtful.

In a recent couple coaching call, Cassie expressed feeling ignored, noting Kyle's high standards for their family but lower ones for himself as a husband and father. This behavior stems from work stress, with little awareness that his family faces their own challenges. Recognizing this, we worked together to set new goals for intentional growth, improved communication, and better alignment in their relationship.

By addressing these issues, Kyle and Cassie are beginning to bridge the gap and build a more supportive and connected home environment. What relationships do you need to be attentive to as you navigate the midlife to retirement transition? Are there connections you need to (re)establish as your community shifts from the workplace into retirement? Have you identified communities that support new relationships?

Intentional growth in key relationships is essential for a fulfilling life, and so are the places we choose to create these experiences. So, let's dive into the importance of setting Repurposement Goals in the Place Pillar.

PLACE PILLAR

Shortly after her husband's death, Sarah was devastated to discover his lack of financial preparation for her future. He had controlled their finances, leaving her with a mess of paperwork, unknown passwords, and unexpected financial commitments. To make matters worse, the wealth management she thought he had set up was almost nonexistent. Adding to her grief, she found pictures on his old computer suggesting he had been involved with and supporting another woman and her family.

The house, once filled with joyous memories of family holidays, grandkids playing and enjoying sleepovers, and the joys of hosting friends and community events, now felt haunted and hurtful. Every corner reminded her of the life she thought she had, trapping her in walls that told a different story.

Through many discussions, Sarah bravely decided it was time to leave the haunting house and find a home that suited her needs, where she could create new, beautiful memories. She sold their cliff-side home and moved into a cozy home with an award-winning garden filled with flowers, trees, and peaceful sitting areas. She adorned her new walls and shelves with pictures of her children, and grandchildren, and comforting knick-knacks, and created her Place of Peace.

The sale of the cliffside home and relocation to her Place of Peace not only provided her with greater financial stability but also gave her the space to heal, forgive, and cherish true memories. This change in place allowed Sarah to shift within herself, providing the right setting for transformation.

Sarah's journey prompts us to reflect on our own environments and consider how they impact our well-being. How can you redefine your space for peace and growth? What changes in your environment will support your transformation? Is it time to relocate closer to family and friends? The spaces we inhabit can significantly influence our peace and personal growth. By intentionally creating a supportive and nurturing environment, we can foster a sense of calm and renewal, leading to greater overall well-being.

PERSONAL HEALTH PILLAR

One of the reasons I am passionate about my work is because of my dad. Over the last few years, he has literally become half the man he once was. Growing up, he pursued his dreams with vigor and was happy and active. But life wasn't easy. After many lost opportunities and failures, he ended up in a physically demanding job that broke his back and spirit, leading to a heart attack and an inability to provide the way he wanted.

Today, I am grateful he is still with us, and I love how he shows up with a sharp mind and lots of love for us all despite his struggles. I don't want anyone to experience the pain of losing their personal health. Like my dad, many of us have a Personal Health Pillar that is still struggling because of parents who believed that life was about enduring hardships without complaint, adhering to a "suck it up" mentality. While this helped the Silent Generation survive tough times, it hasn't fostered a sound mental, emotional, and spiritual state for a happy and long life. But the good news is, you aren't an "old dog," and you can intentionally learn new tricks to improve your Personal Health pillar.

My dad's story reminds us that personal health is a complete package—mind, body, and soul are interconnected. To thrive, we must ask ourselves: What physical health improvements do I want to achieve? How can I reduce stress and anxiety? How can I improve my emotional resilience? What activities connect me to something greater? How can I integrate these aspects into a balanced lifestyle? By addressing these questions, we create a holistic approach to health that sustains us through life's challenges.

PROVISION PILLAR

Keeping up with the Joneses is still prevalent. The allure of the American dream, the beach body, and the perfect business plan sold to us at the low price of $19.99/month forever, keeps us always wanting more. Is it just me or do you also find it ironic that there are app subscriptions to help find the app subscriptions and duplicate Netflix accounts we've been paying on for months, maybe years? Anyone else sitting on a year's worth of hair product thanks to Amazon's convenient subscription feature? Believe me, I'm not here to judge! But this does raise the question: "When is enough, enough?"

Our needs have become a list of excess items often found at every garage sale in our neighborhood. Don't get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having wealth, extras, or nice things. Yet, this isn't what I mean when we talk about Provision. True wealth, provision, is found through the Power of Peace and intentional goals across the 5 Peace Pillars. Fear and uncertainty, like worries about the stock market or health, shouldn't drive our provision plans. Instead, we should adopt an abundant mindset.

When setting goals within the Provision Pillar, consider the other 4 pillars. Save enough to support your dreams, focusing on experiences with the people you love, in the places you love, while enhancing your personal health to purposefully impact those you love and lead. Reflect on what you really need today and what fears you need to address so you can enjoy your life savings and truly live.

How will your provision be intentionally invested and shared as you embody your purpose? What goals do you need to set to create an abundant mindset that informs your lasting legacy?

PURPOSE PILLAR

And so, we've arrived at Purpose! I was torn about whether to start with Purpose or to end with Purpose. The truth is, it could have gone either way and I would encourage you to go backward through these Pillars after you spend some time here and see how these goals might inform the others. I believe the goals in the Purpose Pillar are the goals that give you a reason to wake up morning after morning. It's the driving force behind your actions, aligning with your values and passions, and guiding you toward meaningful and fulfilling endeavors. Purpose is about pursuing what truly motivates you and contributes to the greater good of those you love and lead.

As one who lost sight of his purpose for a time, I can tell you that purpose answers the question, "When is enough, enough?" Purpose is the "to what end" we live, but do you know that your purpose goes well beyond your career identity, beyond the news and social media’s “not enough-ness" propaganda, beyond your broken relationships, failures, health challenges, and insecurities? These too, can wake you up in the middle of the night in a panic, but they are not in service to the highest good. It is only when you can sit in the beautiful story called Your Life that you can discover the threads of unique purpose playing out all throughout that story. It is with this growing awareness of your story that you can begin to shape goals and intentions that will equip you to write the end of your story in a more meaningful and impactful way.

Embracing Repurposement

So, as you navigate the transition from midlife to retirement, take the time to define your Repurposement Goals. Pursue what excites you, align actions with your values, and contribute to the greater good. Embrace the second half of life with intentionality and purpose. In fact, we’re here to help and have created a fantastic Repurposement Goals Worksheet for you to begin that process today.

Text THRIVE to 888-599-4491 to receive your Repurposement Goal Setting Worksheet or email [email protected] to schedule your Life Repurposed Introductory Call TODAY.

Learn more about ways you can navigate life's many transitions with our Howard Bailey Coaching Community offerings. Schedule a Life Repurposed Call with Les McDaniel, Howard Bailey's Chief Purpose Officer.

Investment Advisory Services may be offered through Howard Bailey Securities, LLC, a registered investment adviser. Working with Howard Bailey Securities, LLC, cannot guarantee investment success or that specific financial goals will be achieved.

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