The Myth of Pursuing Happiness: The Story of King Midas

As we step into the second half of life, we’re often told happiness lies in things like career success, financial stability, or the accumulation of stuff. It’s this grand pursuit painted as the ultimate goal. But what if that’s just another myth we've bought into?

Remember King Midas? He thought wealth would be his answer, so he wished for the golden touch. But what seemed like a gift quickly turned into a curse. His food, his family—even his own sense of joy—turned into cold, lifeless gold. His relentless pursuit blinded him to life’s true treasures: love, connection, and joy in the little things.

Even now, that myth persists. In the Retire with Purpose podcast, Episode 426, Dr. Marc Schulz, co-author of The Good Life, explains that real well-being doesn’t come from external success. The Harvard Study of Adult Development confirms it: true joy comes from relationships, emotional health, and purpose. Just like King Midas, many of us have spent years building our identity around material things and status, missing out on what really matters.

As we look forward, the quest isn’t for fleeting happiness anymore. It’s for something deeper, something more enduring, it’s a quest for joy.

The Real Quest: Joy, Not Happiness

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama

This wisdom hits home. Happiness isn’t something you can grasp by chasing it out in the world. It’s built through mindful, compassionate actions. The myth of happiness leads us to believe it’s found in wealth, status, or success—but the truth is, it’s already inside us, waiting to be nurtured. I’ve experienced this firsthand—chasing goals, wealth, and even relationships that seemed “collaborative,” only to realize I was seeking happiness as the end. The dopamine highs fade, FOMO keeps us distracted, and we lose sight of what really matters.

Through these experiences, I’ve learned that true happiness emerges when our actions are rooted in gratitude. Happiness is not the end goal, it’s the state from which we pursue our purpose. While gratitude is the bridge that connects our outer hustle with the deeper joy that comes from impact through purposeful connection with others. When we practice gratitude, we shift our focus from on what’s lacking to the abundance of joy that’s been there all along, though perhaps hidden by the cultural demands that often keep us stuck in our false self or an identity of insecurity and codependence.

Different spiritual traditions say this in their own way. Buddhism tells us joy comes from detachment and presence. Hinduism points us toward our inner essence rather than external desires. In Christianity, joy emerges when we shift focus from the external attachments that cause us suffering (i.e. physical pain, mental health, trauma, etc) to a deeper trust in God. Much like other spiritual traditions, detachment from worldly desires in exchange for a growing self-awareness, joy rises above suffering and connects us to the highest good, something greater than ourselves.

We see this in nature, don’t we? Nature seems to be quite joyful, rain or shine, hot or cold, winter or summer. It is I (and perhaps we) who impose judgments of discontent and dissatisfaction to those preferences we have for these elements that we grow attached to. Summer is too hot, winter is too cold–what if they are just as they are supposed to be. In acceptance of these things, I find greater joy. And yet, somehow, this strange connection between joy and suffering is often so elusive.

Joy and Suffering: A Deeper Connection

"Suffering can be the place where the greatest joys are born." — Richard Rohr

Father Richard Rohr, in Falling Upward, reminds us that life’s second half isn’t just more of the same; it’s a spiritual journey, leading us to greater wisdom and joy. In the first half, we construct our identity around external success—what Rohr calls the “false self.” As we transition, we let that go and step into the truth that real joy often emerges through suffering, growth, and surrender.

Gratitude is a key player here. It helps us see even the tough times as moments for growth. It transforms suffering into joy, allowing us to find meaning in life’s hardest moments.

Top 5 Barriers to Joy in the Second Half of Life

1. Clinging to the False Self
   Many still hold on to the identity shaped by their career, status, or achievements. But joy comes from shedding that mask and embracing who we truly are, beyond those definitions.

1. Fear of Letting Go
   Letting go of control, careers, finances, relationships can feel terrifying. Yet, true joy in this season of life comes from surrendering to the flow, not fighting it.

1. Unresolved Pain
   Past regrets and wounds can keep us from joy. This stage of life invites us to heal not by avoiding the pain, but by weaving it into our story.

1. Resisting Change
   Life keeps moving while our bodies age, relationships change, and careers end. Resisting these changes causes suffering but accepting them with grace leads us to joy.

1. Isolation
   As we get older, our social circles might shrink, but connection is more important than ever. Joy thrives in community.

Top 5 Practices to Cultivate Joy in the Second Half of Life

As we move from chasing achievements to seeking inner fulfillment, these practices help guide us toward a more joyful, content life.

1. Gratitude
   Gratitude shifts our focus from lack to abundance. It’s a practice rooted in spiritual traditions and backed by modern psychology. As we let go of what’s lost or missing, we make space for the joy in what remains.

1. Deepening Relationships
   Long-term happiness comes from meaningful connections. Whether it’s strengthening existing bonds or forming new ones, relationships offer emotional security and a sense of belonging.

1. Embracing Vulnerability
   Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s the key to joy. When we let go of the need to control everything, we open up to deeper connections and authentic happiness.

1. Mindfulness and Presence
   Being present helps us savor life’s little moments. Whether it’s a good laugh or a beautiful sunset, mindfulness shifts our focus from what’s gone or what’s next to what’s right here.

1. Letting Go of Perfectionism
   Perfectionism keeps us stuck in striving. But in the second half of life, we learn to embrace imperfection. It’s in letting go that we find peace and real joy.

Answering the Call to Joy

In this stage of life, chasing happiness through external success doesn’t cut it anymore. The real quest is for deep, lasting joy found in how we live, love, and let go. It’s not something we chase but something we allow to bloom in the life we’re already living.

Gratitude is the bridge. It’s how we align our earthly pursuits with the deeper joy that comes from purpose and love. Now’s the time to shift from chasing happiness to nurturing joy. Let go of the false self. Surrender to life’s flow. Invest in relationships. Joy isn’t waiting at the end of the road—it’s here, right now, in every step we take.

Download Your Free Resource: 5 Practices to Cultivate Joy

Text JOY to 888-599-4491 and get actionable insights to help you nurture joy from within. Learn how to:

• Practice gratitude and focus on abundance.

• Deepen relationships for lasting fulfillment.

• Embrace vulnerability to unlock deeper joy.

• Stay present with mindfulness in daily moments.

• Let go of perfectionism and embrace life as it is.

Take the first step toward a more joyful second half of life. Text JOY to 888-599-4491 and start your journey today!

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